Laws of Office Mail

First law : Your job security is directly proportional to the average number of emails you receive per day

No matter who you are in the organisation, you gotta be somewhere in the chain of emails in the company. At least in cc if not among the addressed persons. If you are not getting at least five mails per day , you should be either an intern or a really worried employee.

Second law : Your efficiency and enthusiasm for the organisation is directly proportional to your the average number of mails you send per day

Reminder mails, FYIP mails, status inquiry mails, self- congratulatory mails and elaborate status updates should be the bread and butter of your existence.

Third Law : The seriousness of your email is directly proportional to the number of people in ‘cc’

CC like there’s no tomorrow. Have the largest audience which includes your immediate boss and the recipient’s immediate boss. Show the world you have stuff do in the organisation. Overwhelm the receiver by the sheer size of people who are watching him/ her.

Fourth Law : Longer the chain of mails you start, larger is the probability of your promotion in that fiscal year

If you manage to start email chains that grow as long as the Hanuman’s tail, you must feel good. You are doing well, by taking initiatives that get people to “work” for the organisation.


P.S : Please leave additions/ suggestions for the above laws if you have any  in the comments :p !

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